Boredom and anxiety about future

[Big ćoF]

Do you ever feel and worry that the thing that gives your life meaning and I may even say keeps you alive will eventually become boring and you won't be able to find the new thing unless you get better (which I can't be sure will happen), so you get very anxious about the future and wonder how you will hold on?

 

[Abrin]

I must admit that I haven't really had anything in my life to give it meaning for a very long time.

My days are generally filled full of boredom until they end and it is time to sleep.

Yet even though I have nothing in my life that has meaning and the days pass by in painful boredom. I am still holding on.

Not sure if that is helpful in any way but I just wanted to let you know that it is possible to hold on in life even if it is without some 'grand plan' or meaning.

 

[jimbridger]

Read Man’s Search for Meaning by Frankl.
Hobbies are the key to happiness. Especially ones with a learning curve like an instrument.

 

[jaminhealth]

I must admit that I haven't really had anything in my life to give it meaning for a very long time.

My days are generally filled full of boredom until they end and it is time to sleep.

Yet even though I have nothing in my life that has meaning and the days pass by in painful boredom. I am still holding on.

Not sure if that is helpful in any way but I just wanted to let you know that it is possible to hold on in life even if it is without some 'grand plan' or meaning.

Are you able to be of "service" to those less fortunate and can't get around...doing for others is a very positive in one's life. Doing some shopping, etc and for sure in these times. I have a nice group of helpers....and I know they do what they do with their hearts.

 

[Abrin]

Are you able to be of "service" to those less fortunate and can't get around

Sadly, I can't be of service to those less fortunate who can't get around because I can hardly get around myself. :/

 

[jaminhealth]

Sadly, I can't be of service to those less fortunate who can't get around because I can hardly get around myself. :/

I know that one as I've been so worse off since hip replacement going on 10 yrs now...so for me at going on 82, I live on my good memories and my handful of friends and family, everyone is busy with their lives, but thankfully they squeeze me in. And feel so much brighter when the SUN is shining. Take care.

 

[jaminhealth]

Do you ever feel and worry that the thing that gives your life meaning and I may even say keeps you alive will eventually become boring and you won't be able to find the new thing unless you get better (which I can't be sure will happen), so you get very anxious about the future and wonder how you will hold on?

I don't know your issue but we need to keep TRYING....and count all the Good Stuff in our lives...hope you have some. And even get into meditation practice, it does change your brain thinking.

 

[Apo Sci]

I often worry about the future, too. And I think that we should live today and enjoy what we have.

Actually I look back on my past experiences a lot and really appreciate that I was in the position to recreate a good bit when I was younger. Daily life is a slog.

 

[jaminhealth]

Slog, I'm on earth almost 82 yrs and never called it that....What the H is slog. Life is an Experience To Be Lived and not A Problem To Be Solved.....

Keep that Negative attitude and that's what you will get.

 

[Apo Sci]

Slog, I'm on earth almost 82 yrs and never called it that....What the H is slog. Life is an Experience To Be Lived and not A Problem To Be Solved.....

Keep that Negative attitude and that's what you will get.

Living the life of Riley

 

[jaminhealth]

????? This is Life of Riley, if so, leave me out.

 

[Apo Sci]

????? This is Life of Riley, if so, leave me out.

That's what we all say.

 

[Minnesota]

This transition from having been super active (triathlete, mountain bike races, 10k's) to a much more limited state is one I have struggles with. I am 57 and try to be happy that up to the point of getting hit with this, I really did take advantage of the good health I had. But to have such an abrupt change is really hard to understand and accept, especially when you see your wife/friends continuing to do those things that brought you so much joy. I've tried to power through things, and put on a face that doesn't show how I really feel, only to suffer the PEM that many have experienced. I am reminded every day of the life I led pre CFS and it hurts deeply to not know if I will ever get enough stamina/strength back to do things, like use my mountain bike again.

 

[jaminhealth]

Change is constant and for some it's not welcome. But, to continue breathing, walking, talking and doing less is something many face. I'm thankful for all I can do. Makes the most of what we have to work with and don't dwell on what we HAD. I think about my life in my early years and all the good stuff I did the fun I had, the work I did, but that is the past.

Get into meditation, truly, it can do wonders for the brain and what unhappiness many deal with.

 

[Minnesota]

Did you go through a process when your deal hit you, and changed your world? As in grieving, anger, the whole process with emotions. I am seeing a therapist of course, and really working on changing the mindset of looking at what I can do versus can't. Some days I seem to be doing this alright, and then wham, I'll be stopped at a red light and see someone on their bike really going at at for their workout. One painful thing for me is that those activities were really central to how my wife and I spent time together. I feel really guilty that I am not the same partner now.

 

[jaminhealth]

Yes, I went thru a messed up hip replacement, had to give up my auto, can't drive, but I walk, talk, think good, and find happiness. You need to do the same, give up the pity party, wife has to understand what has gone on and so do you. And I hope you are with the right therapist to lead you to see all this.

Minnesota, it could be a hecka lot worse...yes it could. I've seen people in rehabs with no legs.

 

[Tammy7]

Some days I seem to be doing this alright, and then wham, I'll be stopped at a red light and see someone on their bike really going at at for their workout. One painful thing for me is that those activities were really central to how my wife and I spent time together.

I would say that's a pretty normal thought to have as it relates to your circumstance. You're allowed to have those feelings. For myself, when feelings like that come up, I don't try to fight them because they just become stronger if I do. INstead I just allow myself to feel whatever thoughts come up. The feelings pass eventually. We're humans and humans have feelings. @jaminhealth I even have a pity party sometimes too...............and that's OK..............as long as I"m not stuck in pity party mode.

Have you talked to your wife about the guilty feelings you have?

I felt guilty on and off for years because I didn't feel like I was a good mother to my Daughter. I was a single mother when I came down with CFS. I basically couldn't do ANYTHING with her. My higher self knew I needn't feel guilty but there was the guilt all the same. It was hard at that time to even carry on a conversation. Years went by and the guilty feelings kept coming and going and then finally, I had the heart to heart with her about it (should have done it a lot sooner) and it lifted a heavy burden.

 

[jaminhealth]

One needs to get rid of the "guilt" they carry around...Does no good. Talk about your feelings but carrying guilt around is senseless. Unless you kill or steal or or or...then you are guilty.

 

[Minnesota]

I really appreciate the feedback here! As you both probably know, there is a certain influx of emotions and feelings that all converge at the same time when you get to a point where medically every avenue has been pursued and nothing concrete comes from it. I still shake my head in trying to understand that the outcome of my surgery was another issue that I didn't even think was possible (adverse drug reaction causing CFS). After going to many doctors and such, I almost had to defend myself as to how I was feeling because nothing on the outside shows how I was struggling each day. I had my wife at some appointments to give the doctor a perspective as to how much I had changed after taking this medication, and that it was very real. Of course they blamed depression for much of what I was feeling, and that antidepressants would be the cure. You know the drill. But yes, I have explained to my wife these guilty feelings, and my longing to be doing what I used to do with her. That has to change now, and I need to be OK with that. When you fashion habits around a high level of health for 56 years, and then that gets cut in half basically, it is almost more of a shock to think that this really cannot have happened, not to me. It is like I aged 20 years in a much shorter timespan.