Long story short (at least this part), my father was an abusive alcoholic. My mother commuted to another city 1 hour away for work and often stayed over at her sister's. So I was the next best person to start fights with. I was the Mediator for many years - a short childhood indeed. I went to see a psychiatrist, but my father would not participate. He felt he didn't need to. I was on anti-depressants, but when I left home as soon as I graduated from high school, they weren't necessary anymore. I had to get out or go crazy. I felt I had abandoned my younger brother, but I had to go, so I did.
In the early 90's I was working and skiing in Jasper, AB for several years when I suffered whiplash from stopping too suddenly on a fairly difficult run. Luckily my BF at the time was a "lifty" who worked on Marmot Basin ski hill. I was carted off the mountain in one of those sleds. In 1996 I was t-bone by a truck much, much larger than mine. That was my 2nd whiplash. In my late 20s I started taking Tylenol 1 (OTC) quite often, or Mersyndol (OTC - acetaminophen 325 mg, codeine phosphate 8 mg and doxylamine succinate 5 mg) so I could sleep. I played a lot of sports in winter and summer. I figured the pain I had was due to playing hard and never really worried about it.
When I moved to Toronto (2001), I experienced a lot of panic attacks, anxiety and was even agoraphobic for a while. Diagnosed with depression and have been on some kind of anti-depressant for most of my adult life now. I guess the move to such a major city, with all of it's culture, was a bit of a shock. By 2004 I was able to cope better and returned to work.
I saw a chiropractor as often as I could and found much relief from the low grade chronic pain I had. I found out I had a mild scoliosis at that time. I'm sure the scoliosis plus 2 whiplashes contributed to my low grade chronic pain at this time in my life. Again I thought nothing of it and took OTC medication to cope.
In 2006, my mother passed away. We were very close and there went my confidant and best friend. Though my significant other (who I moved to Toronto for) was my Rock and care giver during the bad pain days. He kept me sane, bless his heart.
In 2008 I took on a wonderful job that I thoroughly loved. But it was quite high stress and fast paced. Eventually I had to give it up due to health reasons. I had swollen glands in my armpit that gave me a real scare. Mostly it was extreme fatigue. I just couldn't keep up and I regret having to leave that job every day. Yeah, I loved it that much.
By 2010 I was working in a call center (had to work to pay the bills) for Bell Internet billing. I was promoted and doing pretty well with this new job. I had lost 60 lbs over that past year when I started experiencing strange chest pains. It turned out to be severe
costochondritis and remains my #1 pain area. It has not subsided or gone away. After that diagnosis and without any pain relief, I went to my GP and got some referrals to investigate. I saw a rheumatologist who diagnosed fibromyalgia.
I knew I hurt, but it was a revelation of pain when that rheumy touched the typical tender points. Every single one hurt. Hurt enough for me to cry out. I was quite surprised that I hurt far worse than I thought I did. I could not imagine not having pain medication at that time. Yet that rheumy recommended his injections over medication instead. And why not? He charged $60 per session. Now I live in fear of being jostled or touched.
I am pretty sure my mother's death was the initial trigger. Then the stress of the new job, promotion and lost weight (being GOOD things, go figure?) tripped me right over my ability to cope. Stress is the trigger no matter how you get there.
Right now my pain is fairly well managed. I am on Lyrica and Cymbalta plus Nucynta CR and Nucynta IR for breakthrough pain. Fatigue is pretty rough, I sleep a lot and rarely leave the house anymore. My quality of life is pretty gutted. You can
read more about my journey here.
LivingwithFibromyalgia.ca