ME/CFS FM Acceptance and moving on

[GrammaLinda]

While watching the Bones series for the second time in 5 years, it was said of Hodgins when he became paralyzed "what if it's more detrimental for him to stay home thinking of everything he can't do". A place most of us have been. I know I have and it lead to dangerous depression at times during the past 20 years. That was detrimental to my whole well being and relationships. As I became more and more housebound and usually bed bound, and as a praying Christian I have developed an acceptance of things I can not control. In part due to the fact that I just don't feel well enough to do anything. I am 73. I have many memories and a caring supportive husband (of 5 years) who provides for all my needs. I am lucky in that. I am trying to pace and manage.

I do occasionally have one of those days or weeks where I become nostalgic. I haven't been able to drive since last October. My husband bought a classic BMWZ3 convertible for me about 3 yrs ago. I love to drive on a sunny day with the top down. ( I grew my hair long to get the full appreciation of wind blowing in my hair.) I live on the Olympic Peninsula near Hood Canal and the Olympic mountains. Yesterday was a beautiful blue sky/no wind day with shirt sleeve temps. Driving, for me, was out of the question. And I accepted it. The warm sun of summer is my friend as it normally brings a few months of some recovery. I am looking forward to it.

Learning to cope. With nostalgic days I find that soft easy listening music can help, unless it reminds me of my youth remembering how active I had always been. I have to choose the music carefully. I had horses - mares and foals. I worked outside constantly. I walked a LOT! Music can also be very sad for me. It is a strong memory stimulant - good and bad. Bridge Over Troubled Water can bring tears and sadness for many reasons. I like to watch older movies - Audrey Hepburn for example. I love to be reminded of a graceful time. A time when men and women dressed for occasions. I miss that. Not to mention the music of those days. Giving my age away here - I graduated high school in 1965. I often think hey - I wore a dress like that once.

Yet, with good sleep I am ready for another day. Maybe I can sit outside on a day that is becoming more sunny and windless. A hummingbird tried to fly up my sleeve this morning when I stepped out the door for the feeder. And my husband has placed a feeder right at my bedroom window. The Rufous have arrived. The Annas hang around all year. Cleaning and replacing that feeder was my activity goal for the day.

Basically though, we all learn ways of creating a life we can live with. It is detrimental to sit around thinking of things we can no longer do. We can reminisce and find ways to enjoy the life we now have. Accept small vacations in a manner that agrees with us - my husband recently surprised me with a 3 day train trip. Our own "state room" and two nights on the train. I did have some recovery from standing and 2 short walks to the dining car with the train movement. We traveled through the north Cascades to Havre, Montana. I am convinced that is the only way to travel

I am so blessed. Thank you God

 

[JameDiagonal]

This is so inspirational. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story of yours. Acceptance can really help you a lot specially when conquering more challenges in life.

 

[GrammaLinda]

Thank you.
One important thing I neglected to mention. I try to pamper myself in womanly ways. Good skin and hair care on days that I can, even splurging a bit on good products I can order on line. After all - I am no longer lunching and shopping. teeheehee
I also occasionally dress well for a day of sitting in bed or around the house. A favorite blouse, scarf and sweater, for example. I wear them for me.
But my number one, all time, sitting in bed decadence - jewelry. I am an earring addict and why not. I wear favorites almost daily.
When my brain is up to it, I am a voracious reader.
Take care all