What, If Anything, Have You Gained From Having Fibromyalgia or ME/CFS?

[Cort]

“You can’t calm the storm so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” -Timber Hawkeye​

I just came across a blog "5 Things To Remember When You're Going Through A Rough Patch" that focuses in five benefits she's gotten

We often see our times of difficulty as blessings in hindsight — and I do feel like I’ve had my fair share. From heartbreak and disease, disabling injury, losing loved ones, poverty and many other traumatic experiences, I could literally fill a book with the hard times I’ve lived through, as I’m sure most people could.

I've developed tools to utilize whenever times get tough again, which they always will — it's all just part of the natural ebb and flow of life. When I find myself in tough circumstances, pushed to the brink and grasping for any shred of joy, I will reach for relief in small moments of beauty and grace: A lovely sunset. A delicious meal. A great song. A hot bath. A funny video.

Sometimes when you're pushed into a bad situation you discover things you might not have otherwise. Even if things are ugly and tough - that doesn't mean you have gotten something (such as your ability to survive ugly and tough times.)

Please add other possible "benefits" in the comments section.

 

[fdotx]

Benefits? Not a damn one that I can think of Cort.

 

[CountingMySpoons]

I have gained so much from Fibro. I know that sounds crazy but it's true. Before Fibro I was attempting to finish a degree (actually two degrees) double majoring in Psych and Marketing - with the plan of heading towards the marketing angle. Then I got sick and for two years I did nothing. I couldn't do anything more than I had to. I did write a little on my blog, but not regularly. About 2 years in I reached a point where I was willing to do anything and I did. I finally made some major diet and lifestyle changes that allowed me to finally see improvement. So, I gained a better understanding of how my body works, how food affects it, how my lifestyle choices affect it. I started writing more and was approached to write for others. So, I gained the knowledge that I'm a pretty decent writer and that that was an option for me to earn an income. After another year or so of improving I finally went back to school. I decided to go ahead and finish my Psych degree, my plan at that point was to focus on counseling and trying to help others like myself who were dealing with chronic illness and pain. School is tough and it takes a lot out of me. Plus there isn't a great grad school in my area for Psych counseling. In talking with instructors, one actually pushed me to keep focused on writing (it was a compliment on the writing nothing negative against my other focuses - she even helped me get a Psych scholarship for my final year). I'll finish in December and I'm no longer hung up on trying to go to grad school. I know that I have options, that I can still contribute in a lot of ways. And, I can still help people - through writing.

I've also gained a lot in the way of empathy. Before Fibro I was one of those that was quick to judge someone using an electric cart at the grocery or parking in a handicap spot (if they "didn't look sick"). Now, I know that sick or disabled doesn't always look like you think it should. Sometimes it looks perfectly healthy.

 

[Folk]

I learn I don't kill doctors even when the reasons are good enough that even god would allow me to.

 

[fdotx]

I learn I don't kill doctors even when the reasons are good enough that even god would allow me to.

 

[Cort]

I decided to go ahead and finish my Psych degree, my plan at that point was to focus on counseling and trying to help others like myself who were dealing with chronic illness and pain. School is tough and it takes a lot out of me. Plus there isn't a great grad school in my area for Psych counseling. In talking with instructors, one actually pushed me to keep focused on writing (it was a compliment on the writing nothing negative against my other focuses - she even helped me get a Psych scholarship for my final year). .

That is so great CountingMySpoons that you're finishing your degree with a focus on dealing with chronic illness and pain....Now isn't that better (if less lucrative) than marketing? You can make a real difference in people's lives. Good luck with finishing up!

 

[Cort]

I learn I don't kill doctors even when the reasons are good enough that even god would allow me to.

I needed a good laugh - thank you!

 

[Cort]

Benefits? Not a damn one that I can think of Cort.

If there isn't one there isn't one.....
I don't know why but that made me laugh too...(I think it was the bluntness of it.) Thanks for that.
No benefits required!
(It sure is a crappy way to learn something.)

 

[greg hay]

Your health is your wealth.
i have gained.appreciation of that old.saying.

 

[Cort]

Your health is your wealth.
i have gained.appreciation of that old.saying.

 

[Jeepster60]

Living with Fibro for 30 years and now plus 15 other diseases, about they only thing gained has been the realization that I am Stronger than I thought possible.

I once had a psychologist ask me how I did it...I asked him what else could I do?...not get out of bed to go to work in the morning?...not take care of my children?...my husband?...I never went back to him...but there have been times when I just wanted to curl up in a ball and just die....didn't happen though..."Stronger Kills" (the name of the band my Son plays in)...it kills being a wuss!

If my health is my wealth, I am very poor indeed!

 

[Abrin]

As silly as it sounds, I am less afraid of getting old then I was before.

I've heard many stories from people about the 'shock' they get while they are getting older. That their body that worked so dependably for years on end slowly starts to break down so you end up being in pain all the time, your memory starts to suck, you have major digestive and sleep problems, you get confused easily and you need to rest more often.

I've spent my entire life living that way so the 'slow down of old age' holds no fear for me like it does other people. (*laughs*)

 

[Hari]

In one small sentence - I gained a whole new life.

Very Important for me: I realized my own weaknesses, strengths and limitations. Able to see how I "should be" and "should not be" to achieve my goals and work with others as team.

1. I am building an entire new vibrant life filled with love, fun
2. I could see true colors of people and asses people and situations more accurately
3. I read a lot more subjects than otherwise.
Developed the ability to talk on any of those subjects I learned with ease and grace
I had to do this as part of my cross training to go beyond 2 to 3 hours of ability to work
Became a good student for life
4. I developed the ability to be more productive by being more effective, efficient conclusive
I did this as my ability to work was less. So I thought by being more productive and efficient, I could complete my work and then sleep.
Interestingly the more efficient I become, healthier I am becoming.
5. Being more compassionate with my wife and daughter
6. Speech impairment - Stuttering - does not bother me any more
7. Fear of public speaking - gone. Most of the times I look forward to speak in front of group
8. Negative comments about me - makes me even stronger and happier
9. After my well educated family said that my conclusion on my health condition was wrong, I started to question the authority in my life. Started to identify the in-competence and their own in ability combined with 'freeze frame' mind set. And realized on how it is impacting my own life, and all of those who look for advise or support from such people by being gullible.
10. I realized I am more courageous and adventurous than I thought I was
11. Developed the ability to talk on any sensitive topic with any one by being emphatic
12. Becoming a better coach / mentor - first by coaching myself. I developed the ability to coach with love - especially with my daughter and wife
Even my wife started be more pleasant and loving with me. Yet she does not accept the FMS / CFS condition in my body and has no clue of what so ever.
Most of you will love this: My wife said: Hari - you changed a lot. You are more loving and caring then when I married you 15 years ago.
13. Any argument or unpleasant situation at my home: I and my wife are turning the same to be a fun filled moment by altering our feelings and experience.
14. I accepted life - the way it is and the way it is not. This gave me the confidence and freedom to move ahead
15. Ability to recognize what aspect of life I need to train myself, and do so.
16. Started to see life more positively than otherwise

Things I want to improve:
1. Fear of working and taking responsibility (all these years I volunteered to test my ability to work and deliver and improved on the same)
2. Fear of setting specific goals with specific dates and working towards the same
3. Fear of 'people not accepting my condition' and give me a job
4. Fear of physical activity (PEM - Post Exertion Malaise)

My immediate goal is: Be financially independent by using my own energy levels and skills.

Most importantly all of the above are becoming better every day. At large I am enjoying life with a deeper and richer experience than I ever could imagine.

Healthy Humanity. Healthy Planet.

Have fun,

Hari