A Dating / Get Together Site for ME/CFS and FM ?

A Dating / Get Together Site for FM and ME/CFS?

  • I'm excited at the thought of a dating/get-together site. I would use it

    Votes: 6 28.6%
  • I'm somewhat excited at that idea. I might use it

    Votes: 10 47.6%
  • It doesn't really turn me on. I don't think I would use it.

    Votes: 5 23.8%

  • Total voters
    21

Cort

Founder of Health Rising and Phoenix Rising
Staff member
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Dating is, of course, is very problematic with ME/CFS/FM. Finding a partner who understands and accepts one's needs to pull back at times - to not go out - and not be upset by that or judgmental is obviously tough. (Throw MCS into the mix and you have a real challenge!)

It takes a special person to partner up with a person with special needs.

But what about someone else with ME/CFS and/or FM - somebody who understands? That might be really something but finding someone like that is hard without something like a dating/meetup site.

There's also just getting to know people in your area who have similar afflictions; people you could meet with at a coffee shop or at their home and talk things over. That close contact is mostly lost in the internet age.

If a dating / meet up program was made available would you use it?
 
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Tammy7

Well-Known Member
A friend of mine Eddie Bauer started a CFS dating/support site years ago. Unfortunately Eddie passed away (smoke inhalation from a fire) and things kind of fizzled out after that. I liked the group............especially chat room...........Eddie was a character. A friend of mine met someone on the site and they dated so it shows that it is not completely impossible for people to meet up that way.

I think the site would have to be set up in a really particular way.
 
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Victor Maalouf

Active Member
I think the best way it would be done is if it was part of a larger site, like this one :).

If you made a whole section, not just a little blip, dedicated to people meeting one another, with chat rooms, then one section from that section can be dedicated to people who want to actually date.

IMO, dating should just be part of a greater personal meeting website, where anyone can talk and just be friends if they prefer.

I think one of the best things would be if people with CFS/ME/FM/Lyme and any of these similar severe syndromes to meet and even live with each other. So many ways to help each other out, like exchanging massages, cutting living expenses, having someone to speak with regularly who understands you, a motivational partner, etc.
 

Empty

Well-Known Member
Don't like the idea of meeting through same illness. I would hate to date someone with M.E. and think it would be genetically harmful to potential children.

Are there other illness specific dating sites around?
 

Empty

Well-Known Member
I think the best way it would be done is if it was part of a larger site, like this one :).

If you made a whole section, not just a little blip, dedicated to people meeting one another, with chat rooms, then one section from that section can be dedicated to people who want to actually date.

IMO, dating should just be part of a greater personal meeting website, where anyone can talk and just be friends if they prefer.

I think one of the best things would be if people with CFS/ME/FM/Lyme and any of these similar severe syndromes to meet and even live with each other. So many ways to help each other out, like exchanging massages, cutting living expenses, having someone to speak with regularly who understands you, a motivational partner, etc.

Grouping together to survive is a good idea. Might cut suicides too.
 
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Cort

Founder of Health Rising and Phoenix Rising
Staff member
I think the best way it would be done is if it was part of a larger site, like this one :).

If you made a whole section, not just a little blip, dedicated to people meeting one another, with chat rooms, then one section from that section can be dedicated to people who want to actually date.

IMO, dating should just be part of a greater personal meeting website, where anyone can talk and just be friends if they prefer.

I think one of the best things would be if people with CFS/ME/FM/Lyme and any of these similar severe syndromes to meet and even live with each other. So many ways to help each other out, like exchanging massages, cutting living expenses, having someone to speak with regularly who understands you, a motivational partner, etc.
Agree on everything you suggest......:)
 

Cort

Founder of Health Rising and Phoenix Rising
Staff member
A
A friend of mine Eddie Bauer started a CFS dating/support site years ago. Unfortunately Eddie passed away (smoke inhalation from a fire) and things kind of fizzled out after that. I liked the group............especially chat room...........Eddie was a character. A friend of mine met someone on the site and they dated so it shows that it is not completely impossible for people to meet up that way.

I think the site would have to be set up in a really particular way.
Any suggestions?

I could see a site in which people list their interests, what they might want to do with others (as well as date). It could have a meetup option.....It could also have a volunteer option - which people list needs and get help that way although I'm not sure how that would work.
 

Cort

Founder of Health Rising and Phoenix Rising
Staff member
True. same goes with treatment I hope.
Yes, indeed!

Look at what is going on at the NIH right now - NEVER thought that would be happening and given the past - who thought the head of the NIH would take on ME/CFS? Never!
 

Merry

Well-Known Member
A friend mentioned a month or so ago that she had joined an ME/CFS/FM singles group on Facebook. I don't know the details and have emailed her to ask about the group. It might be this: https://www.facebook.com/groups/242414882495980/

Welcome! This is a group for single people with ME/CFS/FM and other related conditions who would like to meet others in a similar situation. We laugh and chat about all things related to dating/not dating when you have an illness, but we are really supportive of each other too.

It's not specifically a dating site, but we do have a Dating Corner (the pinned post) for anyone who would like to get to know others with dating in mind. Mostly we are here to socialise - if you find someone that's fantastic, but don't feel like you have to date or meet up with anyone if you don't want to.
 

Who Me?

Well-Known Member
Here's the thing with me. Why would I want a relationship with someone who's sick? Double the mess, double the laundry, double the BO.lol

I want someone who will clean up after me and lift the burden.
 

Empty

Well-Known Member
Here's the thing with me. Why would I want a relationship with someone who's sick? Double the mess, double the laundry, double the BO.lol

I want someone who will clean up after me and lift the burden.
I have been thinking about this all day! Double the problems was my conclusion.

I do not think M.E. is undateable by a long shot. But I wondered if not a healthy person, which illlness?
 

Cort

Founder of Health Rising and Phoenix Rising
Staff member
Here's the thing with me. Why would I want a relationship with someone who's sick? Double the mess, double the laundry, double the BO.lol

I want someone who will clean up after me and lift the burden.
I agree that logistically a healthy person would be best - someone to help out physically.

That wants to spend their time with someone who can't participate in the things they want to participate in? I think as we get older that's probably less of an issue.

To tell you the truth when I start thinking about dating I think - well, I'm going to tell that I can't exercise, that I can't go out that much and here's the kicker - I have MCS and I have to sleep outside....That's where I stop!

How about being with someone who gets where you are at? Would that be helpful?
 

Who Me?

Well-Known Member
I agree that logistically a healthy person would be best - someone to help out physically.

That wants to spend their time with someone who can't participate in the things they want to participate in? I think as we get older that's probably less of an issue.

To tell you the truth when I start thinking about dating I think - well, I'm going to tell that I can't exercise, that I can't go out that much and here's the kicker - I have MCS and I have to sleep outside....That's where I stop!

How about being with someone who gets where you are at? Would that be helpful?
If I remember correctly, relationships start by talking. Since talking is the one thing that wipes me out more than physical exercise, well...

Being sick for me is a full time job. I need all my energy to manage myself, I can't take on someone else's crap.
 

Cort

Founder of Health Rising and Phoenix Rising
Staff member
If I remember correctly, relationships start by talking. Since talking is the one thing that wipes me out more than physical exercise, well...

Being sick for me is a full time job. I need all my energy to manage myself, I can't take on someone else's crap.
I understand the talking problem. It can be exhausting! And having someone else around can be exhausting...and of course it can be helpful as well but it's a good question...Would a relationship deplete or energize one? A very good question indeed...

Too much isolation isn't good but one does need some...how to manage that?

If you see your role in the relationship "as taking on someone else's crap" I wouldn't want that either!

By the way I did better after I got out of my last relationship....although I must say it broadened my horizons greatly and introduced new things into my life...
 
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Who Me?

Well-Known Member
I've wondered if it's easier living alone and having to deal with a lot, transportation, insurance etc vs having help but then having someone in your space all the time.

I just meant no one comes without baggage, I have plenty. So i just don't have it to give to someone else and help them with their stuff. It'd be one thing if I was in a relationship with someone before I got sick but to start a new one?

I have a hard enough time reconnecting with friends from HS who at least know me to some extent. Im exhausted even thinking about this LOL.
 

Cort

Founder of Health Rising and Phoenix Rising
Staff member
I've wondered if it's easier living alone and having to deal with a lot, transportation, insurance etc vs having help but then having someone in your space all the time.

I just meant no one comes without baggage, I have plenty. So i just don't have it to give to someone else and help them with their stuff. It'd be one thing if I was in a relationship with someone before I got sick but to start a new one?

I have a hard enough time reconnecting with friends from HS who at least know me to some extent. Im exhausted even thinking about this LOL.
I'm embarrassed to connect with people from HS........
 

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