Poll The Reverse Bucket List for ME/CFS: If You Were Well.....What Would You Do?

Thobby

Member
I don't mean to be a wet blanket, or to brag unduly either, but I think the whole idea of a reverse bucket list is to a certain extent self-defeating. In the end, we are stuck with the illness we have; if nearly thirty years of having CFS has taught me anything it's that there's no point in putting my life on hold and waiting around for a cure. I've tried to work out ways to do as much as I possibly could of what I've wanted to do regardless.

First, to play the game of the thread for a minute: If I hadn't gotten CFS on Labor Day, 1987, I'd have become a cataloguer for the Library of Congress. I really would have; I was on track to become one when I became ill. I don't know how my life would have gone after I'd achieved that ambition, but that's the next step I would have taken. I'd also have wanted to travel to all sorts of places. I have a whole collection of Fodor's and Frommer's; I bought them for daydreaming purposes for years.

BUT, all of that said, the important thing is that I've done some of the travelling I've always wanted to do, within my limits. No, I've never made it to India to see the Pink City of Jaipur or ridden the Trans-Siberian Express across Russia, and I probably won't. But I have been to Britain twice, and in 2010-11 I actually *did* go to New Zealand by myself and spend three months travelling all over the North and South Islands, from Milford and Doubtful Sounds (and Dunedin) to Cape Reinga. I didn't zorb or jet-boat or ride a zip line or do whitewater rafting, but I did make the trip, and it was well worth doing.

It's a matter of pacing; I knew I wouldn't be able to do anything athletic and I knew I'd only be up to sightseeing two days out of three, so I stayed four nights in each location and did laundry on the third day. I carried a duffel-bag full of six weeks' worth of herbal supplements and I stored another six-weeks'-worth with a friend I'd met online. I self-published a book about my experiences, *New Zealand from Bench to Bench*, which, alas, sank into the pools of obscurity without a splash. On the plus side, I did earn $10 per night by writing reviews of the places I stayed for a hostelling website.
 

Thobby

Member
>@Throbby
"Thobby," please, unless you're being deliberately insulting. It's the species-name of a small pink lizard in a children's book.
>Not sure how you can say it's self defeating then list all your traveling and things you want to do.
Because I was trying to take part in the thread, and to demonstrate that I too had dreams I had not realized because of my illness.
>These forums are all some of us have as an outlet and there's nothing wrong with fantasizing.
I am sorry to have dismayed you. I thought I was being helpful. I know it was a big moment for me when I first realized that I *could* go to Britain *anyway*, even if I was sick--that some things did have to stay dreams, but others didn't.
 

CathK

Member
The first thing I would do is go for a long walk in the woods back behind our house, visit the huge old hickory I haven't seen in decades, revel in the freedom to be out in woods.

The second thing I would do is spend 3 days recovering while every muscle in my body screamed at me.

The third thing I would do is plan out a sensible reconditioning program. ;)
 

Cort

Founder of Health Rising and Phoenix Rising
Staff member
The first thing I would do is go for a long walk in the woods back behind our house, visit the huge old hickory I haven't seen in decades, revel in the freedom to be out in woods.

The second thing I would do is spend 3 days recovering while every muscle in my body screamed at me.

The third thing I would do is plan out a sensible reconditioning program. ;)
Yes, indeed :rolleyes: - that gave me a good laugh...
 

Boronia

New Member
I'm loving this thread.....I would wake up early feeling refreshed, jump into the car with my partner, bodyboard and wetsuit and head down the coast to my favourite beach-Fanore Beach in County Clare. ( this is the west coast of Ireland, hence the wetsuit). As this is my fantasy, I could even drive. We'd suit up and spend a couple of hours splashing around and riding the waves, then would eat a hearty picnic breakfast that we had prepacked. We would be cold afterwards but would warm up easily!! We would then head off to visit friends and go for a long walk with them in my favourite area-the Burren-stopping to bend down and admire the wild flowers. Next is a meal with lots of friends, lots of laughing, food and a few beers.
We would then need to go home and pack, as the next stop is the airport for a long flight to Australia to visit my Mum, brothers and adult son.
All this would be happening with that excitement that comes with travelling and airports.....and a sense of adventure, musing on all the wonderful experiences we will be able to have there......spontaneously!!
Oh, forgot to mention, the Australia trip is via Spain to visit my partners parents, family and friends, where we eat, drink and be merry, and I can remember all my Spanish!!
 

Annette

New Member
I'm loving this thread.....I would wake up early feeling refreshed, jump into the car with my partner, bodyboard and wetsuit and head down the coast to my favourite beach-Fanore Beach in County Clare. ( this is the west coast of Ireland, hence the wetsuit). As this is my fantasy, I could even drive. We'd suit up and spend a couple of hours splashing around and riding the waves, then would eat a hearty picnic breakfast that we had prepacked. We would be cold afterwards but would warm up easily!! We would then head off to visit friends and go for a long walk with them in my favourite area-the Burren-stopping to bend down and admire the wild flowers.
As soon as I read this I had to sign up to reply. I spent huge parts of my childhood on Fanore beach and haven't managed to visit it in about 6 years now. But lying here in my bed on Sun morning I am nearly in tears at the thought of being able to run along the beach and jump down the dunes with my kids like my dad did with me.
I have been following some of these aspirations on Twitter and reflecting on what I really miss. I would have to say hiking ( again in the burren preferably) and regular sex!
 

tatt

Well-Known Member
I'd like to lose the weight I've gained while ill so it would be back on the exercise machines for me (I have several and used to feel good after using them, now if I try I' m likely to sleep for a day). I even used to do weights, although just little ones. I'd like to visit Canada - we may still go but if so I won't be able to walk the trails, sitting in the car with a book isn't the same. We've been to South Africa but I couldn't hike up Table Mountain. I'd do some voluntary work, maybe as an advocate for those still ill. I'd write a guide to applying to UK universities for those whose parents didn't go, so far I just have the title.

Not sure if it helps to see or not but e.g these are webcams of Fanore beach - http://www.surf-forecast.com/breaks/Fanore/webcams/latest Too hard to be reminded or a joy to see again? We could do a virtual tou of the world, without the midges that can be a problem in the Highlands :)
 

Shannon

Member
Ohhh I'd have a huge list of things I wish I could still do, or want to do.

Like many mentioned already, I wish I could garden again! We rent now, with no yard, so that'd be out. But I would if I could. Nothing beats fresh veggies and glorious cut flowers for the house.

Golf! I could go golfing again. There are tons of great courses near where I live that I have never been to. The hubby and I have done 1 or two in the last 14 years, but not since I got really sick in 2010. I golfed a lot when I was living in BC and had a membership for a really nice 9 hole course for a few years. Really miss golfing.

Join a local mixed slow-pitch beer league team. Slow-pitch is like softball, but the ball is pitched underhand with a big arc before it gets near the plate. I played for many years in my early 20s and really miss it. We even went to Costa Rica as a sports holiday. A very large group of 30 or so included spouses or family members of the team. We played one week in San Jose. Mostly against kids because it's not a big sport there, at all. They whooped our asses. Our team was a good deal older, on average. The second week we lounged around on Jaco Beach. Fantastic trip, I'd love going to Costa Rica again. So that's another wish for my reverse bucket list too. :D I had been in a pretty nasty t-bone accident and was in a neck brace still. On pain killers as we flew into the Costa Rica airport that was on the side of a mountain. You cannot see anything but the mountain while flying in. Pretty scary! I put my arms up like I was on a roller coaster - blame the pain meds. lol

Curling. Same deal, played for a few years in my early 20s and really enjoyed it. Something I could not imagine myself doing now.

Downhill skiing! I grew up in the Canadian Rocky Mountains. I lived and breathed skiing as a teenager and well into my late 20s. Having skied all over British Columbia and Alberta. I lived in Jasper, AB for 4 years. Two of those years as a night auditor in one of the more popular hotels. That meant my shift was from 11pm to 7 am. I simply stayed up and went skiing at Marmot Basin until 2pm. Came home, slept til 10pm and back to work. Rinse, repeat. It was HEAVEN! So many fond memories of working and living in Jasper, AB. I worked at the famous Jasper Park Lodge for the first year I live there. I have so many stories from that amazing experience too.

Travel! My main wish destinations include Ireland, Scotland, the UK, Italy, France, Denmark and Australia. I have family in Denmark and had 2 chances to go (once as a kid and another when my parents went), but I was too ill both times. My ancestry includes Scottish, Irish and English. I'd love to travel to see where my ancestors lived.

I too have a keen yearning for a kilt-clad Scotsman! My hubby is Scottish and English himself. I totally can imagine him in a kilt, but he lacks that glorious accent, you know? :D

Thanks for the fun thread Cort! It was fun reading everyone else's reverse bucket list.
Shannon @ livingwithfibromyalgia.ca
 

tatt

Well-Known Member
I like to be in the ocean, preferably snorkelling. We don't live in Scotland but my husbands ancestry is Scottish. Never managed to get him in a kilt. How about a stop in Australia and snorkel the Great Barrier Reef.
 

Kate

Member
If it has color or much flavor and is a plant I can't tolerate it. For three years I've eaten cabbage, leeks, celery, lemon, turnips, iceberg lettuce, peas, fish and meat, bananas, peeled golden delicious apples and peeled pears. It's the only symptom that makes me cry.

If I got well I'd eat broccoli and an avocado and chocolate pudding and hummus. Pepper, parmesan, ginger and garlic on everything. I'd eat a homegrown salad from my garden like I used to. I'd eat salad dressing with wine vinegar in it and blueberries and red peppers. I'd drink tea. I'd have a good beer. Mashed potatoes with sour cream. Beef stroganoff over egg noodles. eggs Florentine. Homemade mushroom soup from our home grown shiitakes. A piece of great pizza. Apple pie. Sweet potatoes. I'm trying to remember food, it has been so long.

I'd clean my art studio and start painting high end floor cloths. I'd go backpacking. I'd paint my stairwell and clean my house. I'd see my parents before they die. I'd visit my siblings and get to know their children. I'd organize community life drawing sessions where I taught portrait drawing and get the community to draw members of the community. I'd bind the portfolio beautifully. A town self portrait archived at the local library.

I'd teach meditation to the public for free.

I'd volunteer in old folk's homes.

I'd write a book on how to recover.
 

Flora

Member
Gardening. Dating? Haven't done that since I got sick 24 years ago at 32. Yuck! It's crazy out there. The gym. I miss the weight room. I was into body building. What would I do with a clear mind and no fatigue. I had to leave graduate school in shame. Sing. I had a degree in voice. But as the years go on the voice weakens, wobbles, loses pitch.
Help! I cant look forward without looking back!
 

Katie

Active Member
Wow, it's hard to know where to begin!
I would ski again, Whistler's Blackcombe Mtn, climb the North Shore Mountains, hike everywhere, camp with my grandkids, cycle, walk for miles, swim. dance, cook large family dinners, make snow angels (in the snow of course), travel to Machu Picchu, sail the seven seas. Finish writing my book(s). Have energy for photography, one of my passions and on and on. I'd do as much as financially possible until the day before I die. Then I'll die with a smile on my face.
 

Cort

Founder of Health Rising and Phoenix Rising
Staff member
Wow, it's hard to know where to begin!
I would ski again, Whistler's Blackcombe Mtn, climb the North Shore Mountains, hike everywhere, camp with my grandkids, cycle, walk for miles, swim. dance, cook large family dinners, make snow angels (in the snow of course), travel to Machu Picchu, sail the seven seas. Finish writing my book(s). Have energy for photography, one of my passions and on and on. I'd do as much as financially possible until the day before I die. I'll die with a smile on my face.
I got it - the boomers want to get out in nature and go!
 

Cort

Founder of Health Rising and Phoenix Rising
Staff member
Gardening. Dating? Haven't done that since I got sick 24 years ago at 32. Yuck! It's crazy out there. The gym. I miss the weight room. I was into body building. What would I do with a clear mind and no fatigue. I had to leave graduate school in shame. Sing. I had a degree in voice. But as the years go on the voice weakens, wobbles, loses pitch.
Help! I cant look forward without looking back!
OMG - another body builder....(and a singer - what a combination - I'll bet you could belt it out :))
How do these things happen....such athletic people, many of us...
 

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