A young River – 60 pounds of muscle and fun.
It’s not all about the research or even finding good treatments. It’s also about getting through these diseases in as good shape as possible, and for me – my dogs, River and Skye – have been a big help.
After Tug – a Border Collie mix I grew up with – I thought I would never be without a dog but then ME/CFS/FM hit and I put the dog idea on the back burner for 30 years. Having a dog, I thought, would be too much, but then Wendy came along.
Wendy, my girlfriend at the time, did not have ME/CFS but loved dogs. Wendy opened doors for me. We did things I thought I would never do. We lived for six months in Mexico, then in North Carolina and Colorado, and, most importantly, we got dogs.
Get a dog, she said – you love dogs – just get a dog. And so we got a dog – River – and then we got another one – Skye. Wendy was such a dog collector that at one point we had four dogs (that was too much).
River at 11,000 ft in the Rockies (2016)
In any case, the dog idea worked out and when Wendy left, River and Skye (Skye was her dog) remained, and over the past ten years we’ve been traveling the West in our van (and recently a trailer). While they have, of course, overtaxed me plenty of times, and have at times cost a pretty penny in vet fees, I’m grateful to Wendy for supporting me in getting them. In other words, it worked out.
River and Skye have been a source of interest, excitement, wonder, terror (when Skye downed rat poison), at times frustration (please eat, Skye), and companionship. They have gotten me out more – there are walks to go on and dog owners to meet. With my nomadic lifestyle, I feel safer with them as well.
So, the question is whether having a pet of some sort (dog, cat, bird, rodent, fish???) is a good idea. What are your experiences with having a pet? Did it work out? What did you learn? What would you do differently? If you’ve been thinking about getting a pet, are you ready to take the plunge?
River passed away 8 months ago.
Goodbye to River!
River’s place
In May of this year, our 12-year-old companion, River, suddenly collapsed and quickly died. He collapsed in the same place where he spent so much time – in my lap – as we were driving down a dirt road in the Coconino National Forest outside of Flagstaff, AZ.
We don’t know what happened – I would not allow River to be cut open and autopsied – that was too much for me. River was certainly aging – he was a full-on whitebeard by then and was much slowed, but he showed no signs of ill health. A recent thorough checkup revealed no problems, and just a couple of days earlier he felt well enough to chase after a truck with dogs down a forest service road.
All we know is that the end was quick and he did not appear to be in pain. We, my partner and I, on the other hand, were stunned and in great pain.
Beginnings
River and Skye in their home – the Big Yellow Van
Looking for a Catahoula mix, I found River, an Australian cattle dog/pit mix in a small shelter in a small town in Arizona (name unknown). I was told he’d been bullied by some of the bigger puppies in the shelter. When I first held him, he was tense and unsure but suddenly relaxed – and a long friendship was born.
On the way back to Vegas, he slept contentedly in my lap – and there he stayed even as he grew to a 60 lb bundle of muscle for the next 12 years. Even when the passenger seat – which looked more comfortable to me and was at least considerably cooler in the intense desert heat – beckoned, he stayed. How could he stand it, I wondered – at times I hardly could – yet there he remained.
He and Skye – his “sister” were a constant presence in my life for 12 years. They saw it all; Mexico, up to Canada on the West Coast, the Sierra Nevada, Rocky Mountains, the Southwestern deserts, across to the northeastern US, and all the way down to Florida, he was a faithful, uncomplaining, and just fun companion.
Checking out the people on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills
Curiosity was his middle name. Whether it was going down Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, or heading over the top of the Rocky Mountains, or checking out a counter person at a McDonald’s, he was interested. As he sat perched above the traffic in our van – looking down with a grave expression on his face – hundreds of people must have given him a big smile and a wave… At drive-throughs, he regularly received treats (and just as regularly rejected them).
We knew each other intimately. Just a little sign – a slight change in my posture, a little cock of the head – and he knew it was time for a walk and would come running.
He was utterly devoted – he was not more than a foot or two from me for much of his life. At night he would present himself for his evening massage and then would curl up next to me – a bundle of warmth – where we would spend the night together.
He was no pushover, though, and he trained me well. He was tied to the van – his home for most of his life. When we were staying at my uncle’s house, he would sometimes refuse to leave it for days on end, requiring that I (grumble, grumble) bring him food and water.
Fierce van protector (2021)
There was no getting back to the van after our drives down dirt roads until I gave him a quick body massage. Getting into the van, on the other hand, required little prods in the butt to get him to jump in. River could be stubborn at times but when he knew the game was up and it was time to get serious, he quickly relented, wagging his tail back and forth to let us know all was ok.
When camping, he loved to sleep in the van during the day. First, he would go to the driver’s side door and bark to be let in but ended up just looking at me and barking as I was working away at the table. (It took me a while to figure that out).
Making friends on his only boat trip (Oct. 2022)
He was a handsome fellow (and appeared to know it) who loved people and was clear that they loved him as well. On his first and only boat trip, he trolled the deck, licking people’s ears, and soliciting pets and kisses.
He loved hotels. When it was time to go for a walk, he became a whirling dervish. He was truly irrepressible, almost out of control with excitement. He would grab his (or Skye’s) leash in his mouth, pull me (and sometimes Skye) this way and that, get in a quick rapid-fire (imitation) hump of Skye (he humped her virtually every time he got excited), and then back to the leash, he would go dragging me down the hall.
He made so many different vocalizations when young that I thought I wouldn’t have been surprised if he broke out in English someday. He loved encouraging Skye to run faster and faster and faster as he yipped at her while she ran beside the van (during desert exercise sessions).
Happy as a clam in the mud.
River was always coming up with something new. Just a couple of weeks ago before he died, he avidly watched me as I worked for several hours to get the van unstuck but at some point, disappeared. We were free, but where was River? An ensuing search revealed that this old dog had climbed up the hill to our old campsite, where he eagerly greeted us when we finally arrived.
He was gentle. He took all treats – including potato chips and popcorn – with great softness, carefully taking them from our hands. He took great care with water as well, slowly, slowly bending down (would he drink?) before finally flicking out his tongue for the first sip.
He and Skye – his Australian cattle dog/Rottweiler sister that he grew up with – had their small spats but were overall great friends. When young, she pummeled him mercilessly, rolling him over and over and then dragging him by the scruff along the ground in their incredibly fierce play. It took time for River to build up the bulk he needed to stand his ground, but then he could stand his ground and occasionally throw her off guard.
River gets the upper hand on an Oregon Beach (2017)
River patiently put up with voluminous and drenching ear lickings from Skye, and Skye always looked after River – frequently looking back for him when he fell behind as he slowed. When he tried to play with other dogs, Skye proved to be a jealous sister (would be mate?), barking fiercely at him, bumping him, and in general producing havoc. River’s play included keeping one eye on the other dog and one eye on Skye – a difficult situation – but he never seemed to mind.
He was steadfast. River’s severe limp later in life kept him from running much (although he did recently manage to chase a truck with other dogs in it down the road), but he kept on his walks to the end. I will never to the end of my days forget the sight of River slowly and steadily following us.
River checking things out on Hurricane Ridge in Washington (2017)
The only time he consistently got upset was when early in the evening in hotel rooms we would disturb his sleep by accidentally prodding him. He would give out a gruff half-bark, get up, move around, and then come back and lie down.
He was a fearless coyote, cow, and donkey chaser, a fierce protector of the campsite from all hot air balloons and low-flying planes, a great guardian against the depredations of skateboards and similar wheeled objects, and a ferocious defender of the van should any dogs dare to venture anywhere near it. A world-class humper at dog parks (sigh) – he particularly loved intimidating the really big dogs (and trying fruitlessly to hump them).
He was a bit jealous at first and made my partner work for his love – giving her many sideways glances (his specialty) – and terrifying her one evening when I was gone by barking at her every time she moved. His standoffishness left her in despair until one point she let out a great sigh and cradled her head in her arms – only to find his wet muzzle reaching into her face – and they were good. They eventually became great friends, and he was always tremendously excited to see her again at the airport.
Getting old (2023)
River survived a rattlesnake bite, getting hit by a car, an attack by a pit bull (saved by Skye), an attack by a coyote pack (saved by Skye again), parasites (after eating a rabbit), getting seriously lost in the dense forests of the Northwest, getting accidentally left behind in the desert once, being put in “doggie jail” in Colorado for several days, and enduring multiple surgeries as we tried (unsuccessfully) to fix his limp.
Despite River’s love of life, he’d aged rapidly over the past three years and was a full whitebeard by the time of his passing. At times it broke my heart to see him aging so rapidly.
River’s death tore a hole in our hearts. He was our baby boy, and we miss him more than words can say. We will carry him in our hearts forever and hope we will meet up with him again someday.
Here’s to you, my baby boy!
So, for us, the answer to the question of whether we should get another dog – the answer is yes!
I don’t think I would have made it this long without pets. I was diagnosed in 2000 and it’s pretty much been downhill since. In all that time though I have never not had at least one dog. They keep me going. They give me a reason to get up and get dressed and go outside, They freely give unconditional love and ask almost nothing in return. I live alone and am very isolated due to extremely severe multiple chemical sensitivity and my little guy gives me the reason to keep pushing. Over the years I’ve said goodbye to many special dogs, but no matter how bad I feel or how little I can do I can’t imagine life without one.
Theres a saying that we need a reason to wake up.
Someone to love.
Someone that loves us.
To be needed.
Companionship.
Yes!, get a dog or cat.
Yo he tenido perro con mi familia y repartíamos el trabajo de sacarlo. Desde que me fui a vivir sola vi que esa opción era imposible. No podía encargarme de sacar a un perro tres veces al día. Así que me pasé a los gatos.
Creo que es importante saber de que apoyos dispones y cuánta energía tienes para decidir si tener a otro ser vivo a ti cargo. Si te gustan y puedes es una alegría y además es terapéutico y se lleva mejor la soledad. Un saludo.
Translation
I’ve had a dog with my family and we shared the work of getting him out. Since I went to live on my own, I saw that this option was impossible. I couldn’t take care of taking a dog out three times a day. So I switched to cats.
I think it’s important to know what supports you have and how much energy you have to decide whether to have another living being in charge of you. If you like them and you can, it’s a joy and it’s also therapeutic and you get along with loneliness better. Best regards.
I’m sorry for your loss, Cort. What a great dog he was! I’m so glad you’ll be getting another. Best wishes and greetings from Mt. Shasta
Thanks, Marilyn!
I’m so sorry to hear you and your partner lost River Cort. Thanks for telling us more about his personality and some of his adventures. He was such a good dog and you gave him the best life. How is Skye doing without him?
That’s a good question about Skye. She was tremendously upset when River died – probably partly because I was so upset. We drove like the wind to get to the vet. He had collapsed and I did not know what the situation was. When we got there they told me he was already gone. It was such a stressful situation for all of us. I was in a daze for days.
Skye seemed OK but honestly the last 8 months have been rough for her. She’s been to the vet three times since then with various issues (unusual for her) and what’s happening with her is still up in the air.
She is almost 13 years (like River) but she was doing much better than him prior to his passing. She seems older now. It makes you wonder.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Cort….
Please, give a mix of ham and aloe Vera for Skye. It’s a Magic mix, given more energy and health for humans, but we have a very long list for this mix when it was used in dogs too.
Please, do it!!!
Thanks for the idea, Malena 🙂 One of the issues for Skye is that she is intermittently not eating and lost quite a bit of weight so we’re looking or things that will spark her appetite.
So sorry for your loss.
I have had CFS/ME for over 40 years (am now 67!) Most of our lives we have had cats, which have been a great source of joy and comfort. Then 9 years ago we moved into a 55+ community which doesn’t allow pets. It still seemed like our best option to move there, but I have missed the companionship of my cats dearly. Last year I was made aware that in British Columbia, Canada where I live, if you have a disability, or another need for the companionship of an animal, under the Human Rights Code, you cannot be denied the accommodation of an emotional support animal. I got a doctor’s letter of support, put together a package listing all my health challenges, and submitted it to the strata board. After an extensive interview, I was granted permission to have a cat! What a joy she has been! And yes, I agree with you – get a pet if you can!
Yay! 💕
Hi Linda,
So sorry you had to go through all that trauma being separated from your cats but am so glad you persevered and got the paperwork so you can have a kitty. I, like you, have had kitties all my life and can’t imagine living without them. They add so much calm, love, devotion and for me, they also are a source of spurring me on to keep going to be able to take care of them. Sometimes I have been so depressed from FM/CFS, COVID and triple negative breast cancer, there were times I just wanted to go, but their love always drives me back. I hope that you got your kitty and are enjoying your time together.
I’m so sorry you lost your wonderful, loyal companion. Thank you for sharing your story.
There is a huge lump in my throat as I write this as I can feel your loss so strongly in your lovely stories about River. What fantastic memories you have made together!
I have always had dogs, apart from an incredibly desolate 3 months prior to getting the one I have now. That was just over 9 years ago and around the time the M.E. symptoms began – although I didn’t know what was wrong with me for some time. I chose carefully as you have to when the energy tank is always empty, and got a miniature Dachshund long hair – they can stand forfitting several walks in a row. Walter has been my constant companion since.
Living alone and with many days struggling to even feed him let alone walk him, we have weathered the worst of it together. He has made my isolation far less lonely. Recently, some of the more extreme symptoms have subsided and we can manage a short walk most days.
My physical deterioration – I am 65 – has been mitigated very much because I force myself to take him out (we are caught between the devil and the deep blue sea with the PEM) and he has helped my mental well-being immensely.
The only down-side of course, is the utter devastation when we lose them but for me, yourself Cort and so many others the absolute joy and unconditional love they bring enriches us and I believe, can be a life-saver. So yes! yes! yes!
Hi Angela, there can only be one Angela with ME and a Walter! It’s lovely to hear that Walter is still going strong cos you two have such a beautiful bond. I’d like an animal companion and I’m currently thinking through possible options. Covid came visiting at the beginning of this week but once I’m over this blip I’ll put some more effort into my search. Best wishes, Cathee from Paraparaumu Beach
What a beautiful tribute to your sweet dog. I felt the joy and pain throughout. He certainly had an adventurous life! Terrible to lose such a precious companion but glad you had the time you did. Thanks for sharing his story with us.
Cort and partner,
What a wonderful tribute, written with an open and loving heart.
Thank you for this enormous gift of sharing.
When we lost our first dog, our veterinarian and friend, explained that dogs are here for a short period of time but during their short existence they are capable of delivering deep concentrated love. We also learned that the best remedy for a broken heart after the loss of your best friend is a new dog—-no matter what.
Thanks, Frank and thanks for your support after River passed :). There really is no other remedy – there’s no substitute for a dog (or a pet that you love). There’s just nothing like it.
I can’t imagine life without my dog. He’s an exuberant, hilarious, snuggly red bull terrier. He was a massive challenge when young, so I enlisted a wonderful trainer to teach me how to manage him at my speed and within my limits.
As long as you can meet their basic needs, a pet is a tremendous source of company and unconditional love.
An exuberant, hilarious, snuggly bull terrier – I’ll bet! Those terriers they are really something 🙂
I am so sorry for your loss, Cort. I am glad that River died “at home” though, it is not fun taking your dog in to be euthanized. I have had several dogs, I had Hapi a malamute when I got sick with Covid in March 2020. She was my best, but I only had her for 10 years because she was already 5 when she came to live with me. I’d known her since she was a year old though.
After she died I wasn’t really up for trying to replace her, and besides I was then quite ill. But in the end I got another dog, a 13 year old rescue. She is small and funny-looking and of course quite old so I don’t have to deal with an energetic youngster.
I think that if you can manage the energy drain, a pet is a very good idea. But one does have to be realistic about what one can manage, and how. If I was healthy, I would definitely have looked for a younger bigger dog, but Princess is a good match for me now.
Yes, energy and finances are the big things to think about so far as I can tell. We’ve had big dogs and they require walking but living as I do that’s often been as easy as driving the van down a dirt road. I also find they can get quite a bit of exercise in the wild just by my circling the campsite – as they circle me :). At times, vet visits have been very expensive as well.
If you are solely responsible for any pet you have to match that pet with your abilities and lifestyle, no matter your health status. Research absolutely shows people do better with pets, assuming it’s the right pet for the individual/family.
Dogs are great but take the most time and effort. Small dogs are easier to care for then larger dogs since small dogs can get all their exercise inside the house or apartment while larger dog will need varying levels of exercise outside. I was lucky enough to have a large securely fenced pasture out my door so when I got sick I could just open the door and let my dog out.
A 50# Catahoula x he could chase squirrels and hunt mice on days I couldn’t go for even a short walk. When I got him as a rescue puppy I was healthy for 2 years before getting sick so had that time for obedience class and doing fun things like bike rides. He was definitely there for me while I was sick for 6 years.
Over the last 2 years, during my partial remission, he was slowing down so our energy levels were better matched. He aged rapidly this over this past summer and in Oct he passed away peacefully at the vet office, after a brief illness turned into having multiple seizures a day in less than a week. I suspect he may have been reinfected with Anaplasma as the ticks have been horrible for several years now. Having had ANA, Lyme, etc before CFS et al.
I wasn’t going to make him suffer for my emotional support. The day after was rough, questioning whether I’d made the right decision. The following morning he returned the favor by coming to me in a waking dream. With a totally unexpected and very energetically charged message, he jumped out of thin air and landed right in front of me in a play bow with a big, happy, tongue lolling, pant and telepathically told me, ” Don’t worry”, “I’m fine”, “Thank you!!”.
I sat straight up in bed and was tingling all over like I’d been hit with a big static electric shock. Even though I still miss him, the relief of knowing he is happy makes the loss more tolerable. I’ll likely get another dog someday because I can’t imagine a life without one for long. But now, it’ll need to be a very small breed, short hair and white or tan for tick control, so I can continue to care for it by myself.
I had a similar waking dream with River. A younger dog in full health he came running down a slope looked me in the eyes and said I’m OK and then whirled away and off on an adventure he went! It brought tears to my eyes.
I’m so glad that happened to you too! Even though we miss them terribly it’s comforting to know they are in a place where they can run and are happy! My dog actually appeared in a dream to my mother too. She had never dreamed about him before. She rarely saw him but loved him and he came to her in a dream but didn’t communicate with her. He just ran up to her for a quick look and then was off to sniff and run around. I found out this had happened the night before I told my mother he had passed! Thank you for sharing his and your story with us. It’s important for people to know they can have pets during chronic diseases.
Wow! Isn’t that something!
@T Allen,
Your post really caught my attention when you described seeing your departed dog in a waking dream! I used to volunteer at IANDS (International Association for Near Death Studies). They host people who have had Near Death Experiences so they can share their experiences. I have listened to many, many of these stories and there are a handful where people who have beloved pets who have passed over that actually see them again on ‘the other side.’
Of course, ‘Near Death’ means these people returned to the living. Nobody knows for sure the complete experience of ‘death’ but hearing these stories strengthens my belief that strong emotional attachments are enduring–in life as well as death.
I have another story to tell; being a volunteer at IANDS also meant I listened to death accounts from hospice workers. Among a number of unusual phenomena, sometimes there can be a lingering perfume which immediately appears after someone has died.
A few years ago I lost a deeply beloved cat. As I tried to hold back tears, the room began to fill with an overwhelming scent of jasmine–with nary a plant in sight. There was no way to account for this and I still wonder about it to this day. (I’m tearing up just writing about this).
When I took his body to the vet, I went out and found jasmine flowers and covered his body with them. Rest in Peace Squeeker!
My malamute showed up in a dream shortly after her death. We were walking briskly on a woodland trail and she speeded up, looking over her shoulder at me as if to say, “I’m good. Don’t wait up.” She looked as healthy as she had been in her heyday.
I talked to a friend who had had many dogs, she said everyone returned in dreams except for one. She said she was still waiting for that one.
Im really a dog lover – having grown up with and had dogs much of my adult life, along with raising a family and having usually mild – sometimes moderate ME for around 40 years. I love the wonderful companionship, fun, joy, playfulness, sensitivity and intuition dogs embody so beautifully, but started having pet cats after my last dog died some 15 years ago or so.
I love to travel overseas when Im up for it and dogs are tricky to leave behind, they also can be needy, which is difficult when energy resources are low and you are in your own. Cats are so much easier to look after and also very intuitive and sensitive though its more on their terms! When I got blasted with vax injury 2 yrs 8’months ago it was my cat Miso who kept me company for hours on the couch.
I would never have managed a dog as I live on my own and my ME symptoms have become so much more severe everyday now. Exercising a dog is very challenging when basically living on the couch, but Miso my takes care of himself as long as he has bikkies in his bowl!
He seems to know when I’m really unwell and lies on my chest bringing great comfort and company. I really do miss having a dog and perhaps one day that will be possible again – I’d like to think so. But right now Miso is perfect and I’m so grateful he is around much of the day sleeping and checking in on me. It would be an even More lonely illness without him.
I loved every word of this. I’m mostly bedbound, but I manage to care for 2 dogs and 2 cats. Others have to walk them, but I can feed them and make their vet appointments. They all hang out on the bed with me, and I’d be lost without them.
🙂 They are such a source of comfort. When I would get upset about something it really bothers Skye and sometimes she creeps away but River would do the opposite – he would come up to me – look me in the eye and ask what’s wrong?
That’s beautiful! I lost 3 elderly animals (2 dogs and a cat) in 2022. A sad year! I’ll always carry them in my heart. But there are always others that need our love and protection. We move on.
I’m sorry for your loss of River; unfortunately, it parallels my loss during May 2023 as well. I suddenly lost my service dog who was with me 24/7 for 11 years, until suddenly he provided his last act of service and went into his transition at home with me. He could read every need as well as times I needed breaks from those around me (when still trying to work). I’ve had many dogs and cats bless my life. Luckily I had my current felines who experienced Brody’s passing step up to comfort me as much as possible. One immediately transitioned to being my bathroom escort, as that was the job he understood. They try hard to help. The loss has altered my life, much as River’s loss has altered yours. For those of us who are able, these pets are our family, especially when mostly homebound. I am grateful for every second shared.
River was incredibly intuitive. I kept testing to see how far it went. He was always watching me and when it came time for a walk I could make the slightest motion and he would bound up and off we would guy.
He and Skye were in great sync as well. I can’t count the number of times when they would spontaneously explode out of the campsite together and go running out into the night. It was like they were Siamese twins 🙂
Please give Skye a hug for me, and thank you again for these memories of River!
Will do 🙂
I got my dogs before I got sick. I can’t imagine living without a dog. I’ve lost two since I got sick I think I’m going to stick with one for awhile but she needs some training.
What a lovely tribute to your faithful companion, River. I am so sorry for your loss. However, it is evident that you enhanced each other’s life with all of the adventures you shared. You gave him a good, doggie life, and he gave you unconditional love.
I understand how it took so long for you to be able to write this lovely tribute. The sadness at the loss of a pet is powerful. Thank you for sharing River with us.
Thanks – yes, he gave unconditional, unbelievable love and he got a lot of adventures. I always wished that I could go on long walks or bike rides with them – a real regret there – but they got to explore so many places :). A good life for them!
Thank you for this beautiful tribute to River. I know very well the heart pain of having to say goodbye to a dog or a cat. Have had ME/CFS – from moderate to severe & currently somewhere in-between – for 46 years. In my adult life, have had three dogs & five cats – who all came to me in happenstance. My last cat & last dog both died six years ago, within a fortnight of each other. My dog, because he was old & his body could take him no further, my cat, suddenly & well before her time. The grief of their loss almost killed me. I knew, at that time, I was too unwell to take on the responsibility of another dog. I did, though, quietly hope there might still be one more cat in my future. Happily, a quirky, uber bossy yet shy Tortoiseshell came into my life 2.5 years ago – & is exactly the right cat for me at this stage in my life. I feel very lucky.
Nice! I grew up with some memorable cats (and one dog) and I imagine that cats are probably a better fit for many people.
Cort, I’m sorry for the loss of your dog River. He sounds like a great companion.
I’ve always had multiple dogs, mostly bigger ones, as a child and as an adult, and all of the lovely memories that I shared with each one who I loved and lost. I became a condo dweller and had to choose a smaller dog to meet the weight restrictions. I rescued a 7 year old 12 pound mixed breed. She was a lifesaver for me. She kept me in a place of love and gratitude. I lost her a year ago at aged 12, and my heart was broken.
A few months ago a small puppy came into our lives. Sometimes it’s hard to be consistent with training when I’m having a super bad day. We especially chose a dog who didn’t need a lot of exercise and who loves to snuggle.
My answer is YES, if you make sure to find a dog who fits your lifestyle and abilities. It’s a huge investment in time and money; but the payoff in hope and love is priceless.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Cort. I’ve had ME/CFS/FM for 40 years. I love both dogs and cats but find it much easier to take care of a cat. I had one cat who’s in Heaven now and another one, Angel, who is my constant companion. I’ve been mostly homebound for years — I’m 70 now — and Angel is like a therapy pet for me. I recommend pets for anyone who is chronically ill but able to take care of a pet. Thank you for sharing your heartwarming story of River and Skye and good luck with your new future pet!
I had a dog and a cat for a long time and this year while I was walking them, I fell due to an unidentified illness I have had since Covid. Both immediately went to each side of me to guard me until someone came to help. Sadly, I had to put down each of them this year due to kidney failure.
I too am a dog “collector”. As an adult I’ve always had a small pack of dogs. I currently have 3 little Shih Tzu and my son’s German Shepherd lives with us. I can’t even imagine coping with this cruel disease without their companionship. Fortunately I have help taking care of them and a dog door & fenced in yard is a big help. Thank you for sharing this aspect of your life. The tribute to River was beautiful.
What a beautiful tribute to River, we can get a really good picture of the joy he brought to your lives. It is so hard when we have to say goodbye to our beloved canine family. I grew up with dogs but wouldn’t have one whilst working full time so the best thing (!) about falling ill was being able to have one again! After a lot of consideration we got a standard poodle ( I have allergies) 20 years ago. I was concerned whether we would manage a dog as I was pretty much housebound, however the breeder herself had ME so I was reassured that I could cope by following her tips. My family and neighbours took her for walks & we have a large garden.When I was completely bedbound she was the best companion and I found she would “announce” visitors to me with a different bark for each one as she accompanied them upstairs. Poodles are incredibly intelligent and sensitive dogs and over the years she gave us all so much love and support and care.
I now have a toy poodle who is my shadow. I had never thought I’d like small dogs until we got our daughter a toy poodle and he changed our opinions! He visits us each month and he and Willow love being together. Willow was born with knee issues and has epilepsy so we work well together, neither of us being in the best of health or able to walk far – in fact her favourite place is sitting on my lap when I’m in the wheelchair.
Having the dogs has been the best therapy – they have reduced the isolation, they give unconditional love and their antics are so entertaining -Willow even reminds me to take my meds – she knows she gets a treat when I take my meds and her prompts are like clockwork!
I would say that it’s very important to research breeds carefully as some dogs need much more exercise than others and I have to say that a very small dog also reduces all costs considerably, everything from vet fess/insurance to food are so much cheaper AND they create less housework, tiny paws bring in a lot less mess!
You again prove your ability to write! You do him justice with your words. And you open up a window into who you are “in private”. Cudos🙏
I myself live along cats, not that I do not love dogs, I do! But dogs have never fitted into my life, not my occupational life nor my life with ME – yet anyway. I have not been able to give a dog what a dog need of company and daily walks more than once a day as I’ve mainly worked irregular hours with hours commuting (travel?) between work and home. And now I cannot get out more than twice a week.
I as a person is also to irregular for a dog! 😂 I need cats though, several of them from shelters. Oh, not more than two at the same time – yet 🫣
My newest cat friend is a Ragdoll named Molly and she has really, really been good for me and helped me up from the place I visited after first my mothers, then my fathers, death three years ago now. My parents were old and sick so no surprize, but it does take a toll on you. The stress of their last time, and the stress of taking care of everything after their deaths – with a brainfog, fatigue, stress disorder, ME, hEDS etc.
She, Molly, arrived like a fluffy fur ball, just what I needed, and my older cat, a male, also faired well from a new family member. He is from a rescue shelter and shy, but came out a calmer cat when this bold young lady arrived from her breeder.
I do indentify with your story with River. They do become good companions our fur balls. For me, pets are essential, cats on my behalf.
So heartsore for you Cort. Such a sad loss and also such precious memories of River to treasure. All good wishes to you and your partner and Skye, from England.
Cort so sorry you lost River, what a wonderful dog, thank you for sharing his story. I know what it is to lose a pet, it leaves a big hole in your heart. I send you my love and thoughts.
Condolences on your loss of a faithful companion, and what a nice tribute.
I’ve had many pets over my long years, but only cats for quite some time now. Felines being my favorite animals anyway has worked well since I don’t have the energy needed to care for a dog or anything outside.
There are many types of “pets” to enjoy that some don’t consider. Energy requirements vary greatly. Although they don’t cuddle, garden pond fish do know and come quickly when it’s feeding time and can survive a few missed feedings. The biggest issue is cleaning the pond filter when necessary. Watching wild birds at a feeder gives a wonderful lift to the day and, depending on the feeders, requires minimal effort. It’s also a way for those with allergies to dogs/cats to still gain from the addition of animals into their lives.
Besides energy levels, another thing to consider is age, life expectancy, and future living arrangements of both the person and a possible pet. While no one knows the future, I don’t think it’s wise to get young animals that would probably outlive me unless I know and plan for who will be homing them when I no longer can. Although they might need more vet care, older pets need adopted too and offer companionship without having the worries of what will happen ~10 years down the road. Barring something unexpected, I will outlive my current cats, but probably won’t consider kittens again. I don’t want to have to place my pets in a shelter (caged) if/when I can no longer keep them; it’s unfair to expect my family to make room when they already have their own pets; and it’s unfair to the cats to lose their human, their home, be split up, and/or be thrown into a strange house with big dogs that would chase them. My final days might be a bit lonely, but I will be at peace with my choices. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy my limit of two cats – plus the one I recently rescued – so I guess my three cats, lol.
Such an amazing epitaph, sorry for your loss but glad you had this joy in your life.
So sorry for your loss Cort and what a beautiful tribute to River. I have two Lhasa Apso’s, Bella is nearly 12 and Joey only 3 and how good good they have been for me getting me out for walks on the good days and keeping my spirit’s up on the not so good ones!!! I know I couldn’t look after them without my partner which I am truly grateful for. Wishing you all the best for 2024.
So glad you have them and a partner who supports them. 🙂
Cort so sorry you lost River. It leave a big hole in your heart when you lose a pet. Thinking of you.
That’s a lovely photo of you and River! I am sorry for your loss!
It’s a lovely tribute you wrote to him in this blog!
I could not have a pet with ME/CFS, would not be able to pull the constant attention it requires. I do enjoy animal videos though!
Cort,
I loved reading this story about your travels and adventures with your dogs, my heartfelt condolences.
I’ve had pets since childhood (even a white rat named Scout) and the loss of them is never, ever easy.
I have 2 kitties and a boxer dog, that travel with me cross country from time to time. They never say “are we there yet, I’m hungry, I’m tired, I’m bored.” Haha.
They are along for the ride and enjoy it also. As I write this my b/w tuxedo cat “Gibbs” is laying by my side, stuck like glue, always. He’s such a comfort-confidant-friend and listens intently as I tell him sometimes through tears, that I’m glad he’s here and in the moment.
It’s a physical, gut wrenching sensation to loose a dog. A true member of your family, thank you , Cort. Thank you for opening up and sharing with us this great emotional pain you are going through. I’m sure most of us here know so well what you are feeling.
Thanks, Jeanne! I wish you could have met him – I know you would have loved him. He was such a character 🙂
Hi Cort, sorry to lose your best buddy. Dogs are the most loyal animals. I also grew up with dogs. Unfortunately I don’t have the energy to maintain a dog right now. When I read how you live, it doesn’t seem easy to me.
Not that I have an easy life with ME and everything I’ve lost. But one question is it your own choice to live as a nomad or can’t you find a house? Wouldn’t that give you more peace of mind? Anyway I wish you the best.
It’s a choice. It is extremely helpful financially – that is part of it – but despite its challenges – and they are many! 🙂 – I also really enjoy it. A house would be easier (if I can get it OK for my MCS) and provide more peace of mind and its time will come. Thanks for asking!
So sorry for your loss. Losing a beloved pet is always heartbreaking. Still, opening our hearts to another one is always worth it imho, that is, of course, for those of us who can handle the effort they require.
Having lived with moderate to severe ME/CFS for 27, and having loved over a dozen dogs, I can say I wouldn’t have made it this far without them. I should mention I’ve also always had a more functional partner to help with their care. We currently have 6 dogs, ranging from under a year old to age 15. (Cort is wrong in saying 4 dogs is too many lol)
It’s definitely been rough these last 10 years as vet bills have become so high, while our disability income has not kept pace. There are accidents in the house, and favorite things get chewed on, I.e., my electric wheelchair wire. But, for me, those things can’t compare to the joy our dogs bring us.
I type this message as I look forward to the first puppy snow experience predicted later today (6-8”). Two are in for a real treat, and the pups will enjoy it too lol.
Thank you for sharing your pet story with us, and giving us a chance to share ours.
Six dogs! In the right circumstances – a big house, and a nice yard – easy access to places to walk them or let them roam free (my favorite) I could see 4 (or gulp six dogs). All the different personalities roaming around – that must be fun!
I’ve been lucky enough to be around 3 totally extraordinary dogs – Tug – the border collie mix I grew up with whom everybody in the neighborhood knew and whom my mother would let out late at night to roam around; Reno – my sister’s Catahoula mix and great hunter – who I had many great adventures in San Diego with; and River – who was flat out the most interesting dog yet.
I can’t imagine I’ll be so lucky with the next one.
We’re lucky to be on 10 wooded acres, with a large fenced yard. We also have free feeders, so they eat when they’re hungry & go out on their own via dog door. It’s really not too difficult on a typical day. They enjoy running & playing when they like, & always know where to come for cuddles. We have a great pack. Each one has a special attribute. It’s not that different from the large family of 5 kids I grew up in. Btw, I grew up with a terrific mixed breed (chow & Aussie maybe?) also named Tug. This was in the mid 1970s.
I’m glad you were able to have had 3 extraordinary dogs in your life, and they do sound wonderful!. I’ve no doubt the next extraordinary one will find you.
So sorry for your loss. It’s clear you gave him a great life and you all took enormous joy of each other.
We did! Thanks 🙂
I have shared living space with many animals. Fish, cats, dogs and horses… I have found that the larger the animal is, the more difficult it is to provide them with the proper care. At one time (before the onset of FM) I have seven horses. As they aged I also did and got FM. Then winter time became very difficult- hauling water and breaking ice for the four remaining geriatric horses. All but one have since died from age related causes, living into their late 20’s and one even into his 30’s 🙂 With the last one in his mid 20’s I chose to move him to a boarding stable where he would have other horsey company and I can’t tell you how happy I am to not be carrying 5 gallon water buckets in snow storms! But my cats…. I NEED THEM HERE WITH ME. That will never change. I am not opposed to considering a dog again (had three once upon a time) but I will choose a smaller dog because I know I can’t lift a black lab up and down the steps when his back end gets weak because of a neurologic problem (been there done that). A dog would have to be under 25lbs so that I was sure I could care for it (and I can’t do puppies anymore- cleaning up messes while potty training is too much). So- pets? A resounding yes! New parameters, however.
There are no words.
I’m still missing my little girl Zoe, a mini dachshund in August 2021 due to a freak allergic reaction to a common drug for arthritis. She was gone within hours. Thank god I didn’t have ME at the time as I don’t think I would be here today.
I cannot get another dog it’s too painful to lose them. She was my first and will be my last.
So sorry for your loss Cort looks like you gave River a great life and he returned to you great love. Be well.
Christine
Sorry to hear Cort
We have a small dog.her name is Heidi.
She knows something is up with my health.
I’m the only one that either clears my throat, sneezes etc. And she will jump right up on me acting very alarmed.when anyone else sneezes or coughs, she does nothing.they are very intelligent beings.
Not sure why humans are so dense lol
My heart goes out to you Cort. It’s indescribably painful when you lose one of your babies. And yes, having a dog has enriched my life. I get “the look” every day at around 10 and 4. They can be problematic, but they keep me active and bring so much love and comfort. And it makes you focus on their needs, thus keeping you from thinking too much about what’s happening in your body. I wish you comfort and peace, Cort.
Awe….so sorry Cort. Your tribute was so beautiful that by the end I had tears in my eyes and I was missing River too.
What a beautiful tribute to River. I don’t know what I would have done these past few years without my dog. Dexter is a cocker spaniel/poodle mix who never leaves my side (unless I go out to one of my many medical appts). He has been my rock throughout all of this (first Fibro and now Long Covid). I don’t have much of a yard so he needs to be walked 3x a day. I share this task with my husband but Im grateful that he forces me to at least take short walks every day. He has been so good for my mental health as I am home alone all day long during the week. This journey would be unbearable if it werent for his unconditional love and companionship.
You know I do wonder about the walking – the dogs have to be walked or run (behind the van) – an many times I’ve grumbled about having to take them out and many times I’ve gone too far on my walks and ended up exhausted – but many other times its an opportunity to get out of camp and look around – and that has brought me many precious moments.
Oh Cort, what a beautiful, beautiful account of your life and love for River! Some people have the deepest heart for our other companions on this planet–and you are one of them! You may get another puppy, but since each animal has their own personality, you can never duplicate the relationship, personality of a departed favorite pet. Regardless, you can start anew to make a collection of cherished memories. I hope you are blessed with another extra special animal!
Besides being incredibly moved by your epithet to River, I am also surprised and pleased to discover more about your lifestyle. You love creatures–and NATURE too! I venture to guess that this traveling lifestyle is more important than the financial benefit or being able to regulate exposure to man-made chemicals and other distractions. I’m so impressed that you can put out all your blogs at the same time!
So as I sit here writing, flanked by two of my six cats, I answer your question about whether having a pet can benefit those with ME/CFS and the answer is yes, yes, yes!
Thanks Nancy – this is so true – “You can never duplicate the relationship, personality of a departed favorite pet. “. I’m always surprised how unique each dog or cat is. They all have personalities of their own.
As I said in another comment I really believe that I’ve been blessed by my experiences with three quite extraordinary dogs (Tug, Reno, and River). I would be lucky indeed to come across another one but who knows…we will make good memories with whoever comes along. They are all special 🙂
And yes, while my nomadic journeys primarily derive from my desire to be out in and experience nature 🙂
Mixed feelings here. I love my 14 year old Russian Blue cat very much, but caring for him has taken somewhat of a toll on the MECS. He has IBS and is on expensive transdermal prescription meds, MSM food drops for arthritis, and a very pricey prescription cat food. We really can’t afford these things (I am unable to work) but we need to provide them for his health. He was a rescue kitty and we’re wondering if something happened to him before we got him to make his stomach so sensitive! He a very cuddly boy, but also very needy and demanding. (I wouldn’t mind at all if I had a normal amount of energy.) But like I said, it takes its toll. When he passes on to Kitty heaven, I don’t know if we’ll get another pet after that.
PS: Cort I’m so sorry about the loss of your faithful loyal companion. That’s so hard. 😢
I am so very sorry for the loss of your furbaby River. It is hard to explain the grief to others who do not have pets. It is indeed a gut-wrenching grief. After losing my three senior kitties in 2022, I was so heartbroken, I decided I never wanted to experience that grief again by not adopting, until…3 months later my daughter sent me a picture of a handsome ginger kitty named River (too!). He had been pulled from a high-kill shelter by a local rescue organization. My heart melted and we adopted our 3 year old maine coon mix kitty we renamed Stitch (I am an avid stitcher!). He has been a source of such joy for my husband and I who are both retired. Some days it is too much but I never get enough of Stitch!
So glad you succumbed to kitty love again 🙂
When our kids were growing up, we had all kinds of pets, dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters, a cockatiel, fish, an iguana (not crazy about that one).
After the kids left home, we were pet less for a time.
I really wanted another pet and watched the Westminster dog show. Each breed was special, but when you looked them up, they were just too much to handle as my ME/CFS got worse.
That is when I discovered Ragdoll cats…sometimes called puppy cats because they have some characteristics of a puppy like greeting you at the door and heeling when you walk with them. They are also supposed to be floppy, but neither Annabelle, nor Charlie would ever sit in your lap. You wouldn’t want Charlie to anyway because he weighs 22 pounds. They do sleep with us and are always in the room with us.
Last night I had Charlie on one side and Annabelle on the other. Kind of a cat sandwich. Both my husband (not a cat person before) and I adore them.
Our daughter, however, who also has ME/CFS has support cockatiels. If you have never had a bird, you don’t know how intelligent and affectionate they can be.
Oh I am so sorry for your loss of River. My Jack was with me for 15 years. He was my heart and through everything with me. There were a few times I thought I would loose him, but he bounced back. He was a rescue, an Australian Shepard, Heeler and Jack Russel mix….that beard. This month is 4 years since I lost him, my boy Jack, and my heart still hurts. He was the best and reading this I can feel your pain, River seems like Jack. I still cry and I know you are still in pain. How is Skye? My daughter got a husky puppy and we lived with her for a bit which gave Jack a few extra years I believe. When he passed the husky kept looking for him, it was so sad. My heart goes out to you. Just a few weeks ago, I was finally able to get my tattoo in honor of my Jack!
Cort, I am so sorry for your loss!
To answer your question, after much consideration for many months, I decided to adopt a one-year-old cat this past September. The only downside is the energy it requires to deal with his mischief and sometimes it’s difficult to even engage in play with him, which he needs. That being said, I have no regrets. He has brightened my days, makes me laugh, sleeps on my bed, cuddles with me every morning when I wake up, and provided companionship and entertainment. I love him more that I expected. I’ve learned to pace myself around the exertion my little buddy requires from me.
I would say that it’s important to consider how much physical exertion it would require before getting a pet and also whether you will be able to pace yourself enough to care for your new pet without further compromising your health.
Thanks for telling us about river, you write so well Cort. What a grand life River had. I could write volumes about my dog but I won’t bore you as I’m no writer. Suffice to say I probably learned to manage mecfs so that I was well enough to take her to the park every day – she was known as the frisbee dog of East Melbourne
Such a beautiful tribute to your wonderful angel. He’s waiting for you, with no limp or parasites to worry about.
After putting my last dog down about 13 years ago, I knew I was too sick to get another. I’ve lived alone most of my adult life and just taking care of myself uses all my energy.
I do however take care of other people’s pets when they go away. I stay in their homes and the short term gigs help me get my fix.
It is sadly however another joy this illness robs some of us of.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Cort. What a beautiful tribute to River. We lose a little part of our hearts when one of fury family members passes, but we the love we have for them always remains with us. I’ve loved and lost two dogs, a yellow lab and a yorkie, and two cats over the 38 years I’ve been ill. Animals bring so much joy. Unless you have a yard where you can let a dog out, cats are easier to take care of as you become older and more ill because you don’t need to take them for walks, and my cats have been just as loving and cuddling as my dogs. Vet bills are expensive and food and medication are expensive as well. If one can afford to take care of a cat or dog, the joy they bring more than makes up for the expense. If I was younger and stronger, I’d definitely get another animal. I decided not to get another one now because I don’t want to get one that will outlive me and have to find another home or one that I may not be able to take care of properly. I miss my babies. I’m so glad you’re getting another dog as a companion for Skye.
I was diagnosed with CFS nearly 6 years ago. For 15 years, we’ve almost always had 2 dogs. We’re down to one at the moment, because our Catahoula, Radley had to be euthanized the week before Thanksgiving. Now we just have our Catahoula/Beagle mix Cal. I often can’t leave the house for days at a time and I enjoy the companionship. Cal makes me laugh sometimes. Dogs make my life better.
Most definitely yes. We had 2 maltese bichons when we downsized to a lifestyle village (over 55’s) here in Oz. We were told we could not get any more after they passed. I struggled for a couple of years but was encouraged by my friend to ask. The owner agreed so I dashed out and bought Sammy a maltese shitzu. He has been a lifesaver. No matter how much time I have to spend in bed – he’s there. I worry that I cannot take him for regular walks (about 1 in 3 weeks) now. This last year has been bad. But when I look into his eyes oh I love him so much.
So happy to read about River, and so sorry you lost your friend.
Everybody tells me to get a dog. It’s more evidence that people just don’t get how devastating this disease is.
I have a rescue pigeon. His name is Two-Step, and he saved my life.
What a beautiful boy River was, thanks so much for sharing him with us. I have two beautiful Burmese cats. I got them because I googled ‘which cat breed is most like a dog’, and that’s what I got. They are super people focused and loving, but don’t need walking like a dog would. They are bad around cars though, so I have keep them inside after a couple of near misses. But highly recommend Burmese cats to anyone, and especially to the ME community.
I’ve lived with ferrets since 2001 and it marvelous! I’ve lived with CFS since 1987, unfortunately. Having my kids (ferrets) with me has made all the difference in the world, in living. Sure, it is work, but it good work and keeps me grounded with great company.
Cort, I am so sorry for the loss of your good buddy River. Thank you for sharing him with us through this loving tribute. I hope your next dog will bring you much joy.
For years, I have resisted having a pet, since I knew I didn’t have the capacity to care for one and knew also that the responsibility would fall on me. Now that my husband is retired, I am rethinking the issue. So maybe…
Good luck with your decision 🙂
Thanks, Cort.
I also wanted to say that I hope Skye is not dying of a broken heart. It happens in dogs like it does in humans. All the best 🍁
What a touching and endearing story 🥹 RIP River! Even though I live with family who really didn’t want a dog, they allowed me to get one. She’s a mini bernedoodle about 16 lbs. I wanted a smaller dog so I could control her better. Piper gives me a run for my money, though, for being small! She goes everywhere with me and sleeps with me. She is such a comfort and companion. I’m not depressed anymore. I have a reason to get up in the morning! A reason to stay healthy and strong. I am trying! Best thing ever to have a dog! I was diagnosed in 2007 with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. Orthostatic hypotension has gotten much worse in the past 2 years. I’ve had to cut back my work hours and I’m applying for disability. But Piper helps me get up everyday and take those walks.. having a dog is life changing! ❤️❤️
Having cats has taught me so much about how to live with ME/CFS gracefully. Our cats are indoor cats and they have shown me how to have a fulfilling life inside our home. They have thought me the importance of having a routine, of marking the hours of the day by moving from one room to the next, of napping and then napping again, of stretching gently, of enjoying a ray of sunshine, of appreciating a cuddle and of staying clean and nicely groomed. They love eating the same thing every meal, which has made it easier for me to adjust to having a much restricted diet. They are such empaths; coming to snuggle when I feel low and just barely touching me when I’m too sore to take their weight. They are amusing and silly, and their purring is always comforting. Their internal schedules (It is time to eat NOW!) help keep me on a regular schedule and remind me to eat, even it I don’t really feel like it. I joke that the five of us are Rapunzels (the four kitties and me) stuck in our tower waiting for our hair to grow long enough to be rescued by a handsome prince, except that we’re all short haired, so no princes need come calling. I would be lost without them. Even when I have no energy for anything else, I can stroke a cat. It is devastating when one dies, but I’ve found the only solution is to get a new furry friend. The new one doesn’t replace the old one. They find a new spot in my heart to make their own.
I desperately want a service dog! Unfortunately, I’m not the only one in my household with chronic health issues so its not in the cards right now for my family, dogs cause too much dust. Hopefully after college though! (if i manage to move out)
Currently I have some fish and I 100% recommend if you want something to watch calmly while lying in bed. If you get a 10-20 gallon tank with a betta you only need to do water changes every 5 months or so, very manageable (there are some aquarium stores that have services to come clean the aquariums of disabled people and seniors, check in with your local family owned shop!). Get silicone plants, gravel, food, and a bottle of “Seachem Stability” (dose once a day for the first two weeks to get the cycle set up, much easier than old school cycling methods.) A mystery snail may be a nice addon to keep it clean. Turn the light on when you feed it so there’s no need to remember if you did that day or not.
I rescued a Catahoula, lost after a Mountain cattle season in SW Colorado, in 2012 just before onset.
Those dogs have a ton of energy, it took two weeks to track down the owner in SW New Mexico and arrange a third party rescue, two weeks of Doc bouncing around the cab of my truck, along with my own dog.
I really enjoyed reading about River – thank you for sharing him with us, Cort. It’s clear how loved he was. I laughed out loud re: all the humping. What a character. And my goodness, all the things he survived!
We currently have three indoor cats and two feral cats that live in/around our property but who won’t let us come near them. We feed them and provide shelter. The indoor cats have all been my companions through long COVID. Their personalities and quirks help provide a focal point for me and my husband (we are child-free), and give us something to bond over daily. I will never be without at least one cat. I love dogs too but they are more physically demanding, and so we’re waiting to see if they’ll be a time when we can have them again.
I have had a wonderful dog companion for 13+ years. unfortunately, she (Kiku) was diagnosed with congestive heart disease more than a year ago. I’m lucky that she has lasted this long, but she is definitely getting worse. I’ve never been this close to a dog before, she has been such a funny, weird, feisty little creature. Still is. I dread being without her when that time comes, but I don’t think I can handle another dog. I’m 78 years old, have FMS/CFIDS/MCS, which makes everything harder, and am on limited income, so I cannot hire a dog walker when needed. And I’m allergic to cats. Also, I wouldn’t feel comfortable adopting another companion, unless I knew someone who would take care of them after I die.So much sadness. But also, relishing each moment with her – even when she wakes me up several times at night. I hope she knows how much she is loved. She probably does, because whenever I’ve been out of sight for a while, she looks into each room until she finds me. I think she has taught me a lot about loving.
I feel for you and your loss and have lost my sweetie in October; the last of my 4 cats, that I had for 20 years.
I am in debt $2,300.00, with an emergency veterinarian, for testing, just to find out she could not be saved..I am devastated and am in a flare for 3 months.
I am so sad and lonely.
I could not walk my dogs, let them out, clean up after them, be on a schedule etc..I tried 3 times and had to give away each one..I wanted them so desperately, but have realized I can’t do dogs, they take too much work and now, can’t afford vet bills and decent food, isn’t cheap. Darn cats wouldn’t eat my homemade and I hurt so bad after making it! They are so finicky!
Now, a stray cat has shown up at my door and I cannot afford to keep her. Heck, can’t even wake up during the day to call for shelter alternatives/find her a home.
How does anyone with pain and severe fatigue,who can’t work, do it?
I worked 20 minutes on a comment and it it says i already said that before and erased my comment!
please delete my last comment, the old one just showed up..odd
River was an awesome dog, and a wonderful travel companion. He and Skye were such great company on our long trips too see Dr. Peterson in incline Village. I couldn’t think of better company , other than the driver 😀 I know how much you miss him. he was your best friend, your baby, your soulmate… All of the above. it’s one of the hardest things in life, losing a pet.
Having lost my 18-year-old cat a year and a half ago I not only have to face the difficulty of having ME/CFS and deciding on whether I should get another pet or not, but the fact that I am older, and do not want to outlive my “baby“. I have thought of other options like fostering or adopting an senior who I can bless with a couple years or more of a real home. It’s always such a tough decision which just validates how many things this illness affects
Best to you and skye❤️
You introduced me to his ‘sideline’ looks which I noticed he was doing later on – and my partner noticed right off! He was quite a guy and we both miss him a lot.
Good luck with the kitty decision.
Thank you for sharing River & Skye with us. I agree with those who count pets among their therapies. We’ve always had pets, and It’s only at the end of their lives that I’ve truly recognized how much they gave me—Bear got me through empty nest days, Scat was their through illness and surgery, and Spencer has been a best friend through the loneliness of CFS. It’s also been useful to explain my limitations to docs and others. “I’m not looking to get my full life back; I just want to be able to walk my dog.”
We got Spencer 12 years ago as a 10-week-old “retriever mix” puppy after I had fibro but before I developed me-cfs. My advice: get a pet, especially if you have family support in caring for one. But consider:
Type: I would have loved a border collie, but knew I could never handle a high energy dog. I wanted a medium size dog that I could carry if he didn’t cooperate.
Timing/age: Yours & the pets. Having adopted Spencer at 10 weeks old in the middle of a cold, icy winter, he took longer to house train. Much as I love an adorable pup, my next one will be an adult.
Training: Highly recommend you have access to good training. This is the first pet we have taken to training classes and it makes a lifetime of difference.
Commitment: be realistic. It takes a lot of resources and creativity to feed, train & care for a pet you dearly love. Without the energy to properly exercise my dog, membership at the local dog park is an essential (and extra expense) for Spencer and gives me a little social time, when I feel up to it.
Really really wonderful tribute to River and your remarkable relationship. My sister introduced me to dogs…. I got my first dog in 2009… and my second one (yes, they loved each other and had the occasional spats. My faithful companion is the sweetest ever ten years or older rat terrier. I don’t know if I could handle not having a dog.
Hi Cort,
I’m deeply touched by your tribute to River. Years ago we had dogs in our lives, but now it’s all cats. My wife, Ann, is a co-founder of The Dancing Cat, a cat rescue and adoption lounge in San Jose, CA. In the eight years we’ve been doing this, we’ve found forever homes for more than 1,300 cats and kittens.
We specialize in making good matches between cats and adopters. If you are a pwME in the South Bay, and you want to explore the possibility of a cat in your life, I encourage you to check us out at https://www.thedancingcat.org/. We know ME and we know cats.
Regards,
Rob
Has anyone looked into Jarred Younger’s research? He developed an MRI that does thermal researching. He says that there is a commonality between fibro and brain inflammation. My kitty, who I loved so much, died in my arms..blah….Anyway look up Jarred’s research. Might be eye opening
I’m also looking for a non chipped pet..how to get. Don’t judge me.
Is there anyway I can get a non-chipped pet? Maybe a cat, or small dog? Maybe from a private breeder, but it might be too expensive.. what do you think?. Don’t be judgmental on this..I don’t need the stress. I wonder if searching for a non-chipped pet is a thing others think about too.
Am so very sorry about the loss of your precious friend, River. There is nothing like the sting of loss of our furry friends because they connect with us deep in our soul. Hope that your family will begin to heal. The hurt will always be there, but it does get better and standable. Thank you so much for sharing the adventures of your furry kids and the love you all share. You gave them a wonderful life with lots of love and laughs and those memories are precious treasures that you will always have.
All the best to you and your family. Hope one day that you can give Skye a new little friend. There are so many sweet souls in the adoption centers they are busting at the seams and so desperately need someone like you to love them.
Thanks! 🙂
I have Fibromyalgia and a rare neuromuscular disease called Hypo Periodic Paralysis. I have had episodes of weak muscles, even paralyzed since 5 years old. My Grandmother was the 1st st known family member to have it but at that time no one had a name for it. My father died in his 50’s so did my brother. I’m now 71 years old.
I was pretty mobile for years with hours of attacks. Fibromyalgia is more painful. I’ve been bed ridden for over 2 years after breaking one ankle at a time the last 2 1/2 years. I’ve had to move from Calif. to Washington in the last 5 months. So our daughter and son in law help us now after my husband got Vascular Parkinson’s.
I want to get a therapy dog. My daughter grew upset when I told her. She feels it will be an extra stress for her. I explained that I won’t be getting one till we are settled here for a year. And want to get a service dog trained to assist us. I’ve spoken to others with fibromyalgia who claim their dog was healing for them. What can I tell my daughter?
What a beautiful post Cort! Thank you for sharing River stories with all of us. The bond with pets can be so powerful. Goodbyes are so hard! So sorry for your (and your partner’s) loss. River was lucky to be in your care all those years.